My reasons for being in a sour mood seem to really be irrelevant especially since the minutia of the details sound stupid the more I repeat them. I am more focused on the idea of why some people feel the need to nit pick on the lives of others, why the most judgmental people go around accusing others of being just that, why is it people have lost the ability to confront people with the idea of coming to an understanding rather than just to fight and see who can yell the loudest and swap the most insults?
When did everything become defensive?
There inlies my problem with life. I live life more on the offense. I do my best to walk through life just trying to do the "right" things. Meaning for me, I say please, thank you and excuse me. I always hold the door for people, use my blinker in traffic, try to walk in the shoes of some one else before approaching them with any situation, rarely fly off the cuff on anyone, don't blame others for my short comings and try to understand why they may find something I did to cause them anger or dismay. I believe in face to face communication not because I revel in confrontation but rather to avoid it by being able to read body language and facial expression. I believe in telling the truth, trying to create understanding, and just letting people live. I smile at strangers. In essence, I believe most people are doing the best they can in the circumstance they are in.
I am naive.
I figure by trying to live in a way where I try to give understanding a head of time I would have less conflict in life. I thought people would afford me a similar understanding, because I treat them in a respectful manner, I too would be respected. This is just not the case.
It is possible some see my attitude as condescending, irritating or maybe even devious. So they're response to me is unkind. It is possible some people look at me and find something about me to be leery of. I wish I knew what it was cause being treated poorly sucks.
But I move forward in my normal fashion. Trying to not let it show their behavior weighs on my mind and makes life just a little harder. I still smile at strangers and hold the door open and over all press forward with a positive attitude. It does make me think though, is this the wrong response. I mean what message am I sending? Maybe it would be beneficial for me to just open up and let someone really have it, maybe as a warning to everyone else that comes after. To be honest, occasionally someone will gets a piece of me, I just don't make it a habit.
Just trying to make sense of the world from the perspective of a sensitive optimist's point of view.
I pondered all these question as my weekend continued to just be lack luster and as I sunk into the the idea that I once again was done wrong for no reason except someone just felt the need, my daughter spotted this lady outside the grocery store selling gladiolas. She insisted on buying some.
After arranging the flowers on the dinning room table when we returned home I asked her why she wanted flowers. She responded, " No one else was buying them and she worked hard to grow them. I thought I should be nice and buy some. She had a baby mom, she needs the money for her family". It dawned on me right then that I have instilled the idea in my children they can change the world simply by doing something nice for someone. They are offensive in their approach to life. Hopefully, I didn't do them a diservice.
Very Nice!
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