I am the spider ninja

Spider on the side of my house this morning. The body about the size of a silver dollar.

I hate spiders.

No one told me that Maine has more spiders per square foot than jelly beans in one of those "guess how many" jars at the county fair.  I am not at all exaggerating.


Not even a little bit... ok maybe a little bit.

But to someone who hates spiders it doesn't feel like an exaggeration. I go out every morning with a broom and sweep the spiders off my house who have diligently made their nightly webs there.  I am not just talking little spiders either I am talking about spiders whose mid section can span the width of a quarter and even silver dollar, sized spiders.

Great oogly boogly!

Just to clarify I am not afraid of spiders I just don't like them.  I think they are dirty and ugly and gross. I apologize to everyone out there who will undoubtedly fight on the behalf of the spider for their right to live.  I am sure you will be quick to remind me all the good they do by eating my second biggest enemy of the state - the mosquito!

I just don't care.

They can live anywhere else.  Just not in my house or on my house.  I may feel differently about them if they didn't bite us...maybe a little bit different...nah probably not.  Maybe if they were purple with pretty wings and granted wishes ... maybe.

Since moving to Maine I am on a one woman mission to get the word out to these spider folks my house needs to be left alone.  I am the spider ninja!  Ok, well maybe I am not a ninja but I kick some spider butt every morning armed with my straw broom.  Here's hoping some maimed spiders go back and tell their other little spider friends to not build their webs on my house in fear of the spider ninja's revenge!

This blog entry is dedicated to the spider in the picture. Whom I unleashed the power of the broom on this morning right after he let me take his picture...may you rest in peace big guy.