Moving on

I am missing something.

I am sure I am missing something that allows others to find a certain stride in life that gets them from day to day with little concern.

I am searching for it actively.

I keep starting over in hopes in my purge of old clothes and used items I will get rid of my bad luck talisman and I will find my stride.

But today, as I face with the possibility of starting over yet again, this time with far less than I have had in the past, I am grateful for just the ability to do so. It seems I have been blessed with the ability to get out of situations and move on.  Sometimes I see this as a pain as I seem to have these situations more frequently than I would like.  But when I stand back and take a real good look at it, I realize how lucky I really am.

I get out.  I move on. I still get to search out my happiness.

The lesson I have learned not a moment too soon is being happy will always be a search and the ability to be able to keep on until it is found is an ability not everyone has.  The frustration of always being in search of the missing pieces gets to me and sometimes I feel as though the wild goose chase will continue forever but I have realized being able to chase is the blessing I may have been over looking for all these years.

Yes, one can say that my search for occupational happiness has eluded me, but one can also say I have had great opportunities and realized my dreams are far more vast than I had ever thought.  Some may look at me and say I am without a life long love, but I would prefer to believe I have been blessed with the ability to explore my world so when I find a love I will have the knowledge to know what it is.  Some may say I have been adrift, I say I am paving a life and just because my path doesn't go in a straight line doesn't mean I am not sure where I am going, but rather that I have decided to not miss out on all the other parts of my life along the way.

I have known people who have gotten stuck and masked that with the idea they are "stable".  I have been able to move on.  Move forward.  I am lucky I have had so many opportunities and I hope to have more as I continue to move on.

I believe life isn't what I expected but sometimes that is the blessing I loose sight of.